In terms of commitment, I'm going to classify you as “getting there” since you're on the right track, but you just need to VA and practice more to really sell me~
Thank you. This is exactly the kind of thing I needed to hear.
Thanks so much for taking the time to critique, Hnilmik (for me and for everyone else!), I really appreciate it and doing this has made me determined to practice more!
Joined: Feb 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 4,537 Location: Southern CA, USA
Re: "I'm a VILLAIN" Challenge - DEFUNCT! « Reply #182 on Jul 18, 2009, 2:25pm »
@ holden51 You're lucky that I can speak and understand 80 MPH speech 'cause I can see how this talking speed will be a problem later on to you. Trust me, one critique several people gave me that I'm working on is to learn how to slow down while being energetic, especially while voicing angry or upset characters, 'cause not only is it hard for a lot of people to keep up, but it doesn't really exude control. You know how slamming the brakes is different from easing to a stop? That's what I got from this: Stop and go and it got really repetitive despite the little character-y things that were meant to help your performance. I'm a diction nut, so there were some parts where you almost lost it because you were speaking so fast and whenever I hear slip-ups in diction, I always brace for a crash—Crashing is bad. In terms of commitment, I can tell you felt very natural while performing this, but I think you're holding back. I hear a character-sorta, but it's gonna take more than that to be a villain, or even a crazy person, since villains are more than just angry people and crazy people just exude an aura not that many people know how to pull off. In the end, I suggest learning how to slow down in general so you're not always at the same speed period. In extension, learn how to ease into things and how to build up into speed to make the sudden stops more meaningful or heck, the others speeds into something meaningful.
@ kmsumrall First of all, I already forgot what your last entry sounded like, so here's a clean slate critique. Don't take this the wrong way, but... You know those villains who are a bit deficient in intelligence (mean way of putting it: retarded villains) but mean everything they say and do? For lack of better words, mindless brutes that do nothing but destroy out of anger because they're out of control and don't know how to express themselves the right way? I actually got a conflicted, misunderstood villain out of this and you get kudos since, like I've said, it's really hard to exude the kind of energy a mentally unstable person has. As for the areas that may need work, it got a smidge repetitive with the voice-cracking surges and the really clean diction near the end almost threw me. You know how to keep things consistent, but try to think of what works for your character and what doesn't. I was able to see the sloppy diction as an extension of the character (he may be a mutated human turned monster) and I think it would've been more interesting to even have your character react to his surroundings (destroying more things when you can't get the right words out, suspecting that the hero isn't paying attention while you're explaining everything to him, etc) to make it seem less like he's standing in one place talking the whole time. He's finally being listened to, but that rambling might lead to the good guys knocking you out while you're distracted, you know?
@ Calavera Your read still sounds awkward around several parts due to spontaneous choices (“when it's my JOB to put those people in their PLACE”), but I will say that you're on the right track in terms of changing things up since there were a couple spots where you sold me (“let me... necro a concept...”). I'll just jump to the tips since I think I know how to help you even more. In terms of commitment for a character that's different from what you usually do, you're getting there. You just need to worry less about how you talk, in a sense, so your brainpower will be spent more on the performance. One of my mentors describe reads as “music” and a lot of the time, music has flow as it moves from one rhythm or verse to the bridge or the chorus (please don't hit me, musicians, 'cause I don't know the right technical terms). In music, it's not always going up or down sharply in a straight line, but also wavelengths and “squiggles”... Call me crazy, but when I was trying to figure out reads, I'd trace my read in the air with a finger a bit like a seismograph to “see” my highs and lows. You know how songs usually still make sense in spite of how they're performed or how they're said alongside the background music? It's like that, so listen to a lot of different songs to get a better feel of how different musicians express themselves, and naturally. If you don't want to be distracted by the words, listen to songs in different languages—Listen to Disney songs in foreign languages to not understand a thing they're saying, but still understand the kind of music their language is put through to express the same ideas.
(Suddenly, off-topic due to heavy-duty coaching. If you want extra credit, check it out since I basically did a lot of rearranging to give these tips and I got carried away. If not, don't bother reading the upcoming ramble fest. Rambling means it might not make any sense. You've been warned.)
In the very tonal Vietnamese language, a lot of the times you can guess what a word means by the way it sounds because there are around 6 tones you can use for vowels (plus around 11 or so vowels, but I won't get into that since if you wiki the Vietnamese language, it'll break your brain if you don't hear it or understand it). Smooth words sound smooth, harsh words sound harsh, and this can be incorporated into English in some ways. You might hear the vibration/wobble of the “ng” in “twang”. Your teeth come really close together for the “gn” when you “gnash” your teeth. Personify and personalize your words since once you think about it, people understand words in different ways and their word choice is there for a reason.
Oh screw it. For the heck of breaking your brain, here's a visual example of Vietnamese tones to give a better idea of what I mean about wavelengths and squiggles: Yeah, Vietnamese people can hear all that and that's just the northern accent (northern = clean diction; southern = kinda lazy, sometimes sloppy diction; central = WTF) and without the vowels incorporated. I'm never joking whenever I say “I can hear everything”.
@@; Well, Calavera has been the most persistent for critiques and improvement throughout this challenge and he knows how to take direction, so I hope you guys don't mind me doing just 3 critiques for now. I'll cover the rest later.
Joined: Feb 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 4,537 Location: Southern CA, USA
Re: "I'm a VILLAIN" Challenge - DEFUNCT! « Reply #185 on Jul 19, 2009, 6:10am »
@ Phoenix27 I have mixed feelings about the voice you used. On one end I like it feel that the quiet, raspy texture is appropriate as it diminishes in the end with a chuckle. On another end, I wasn't sure if it was a voice you could sustain since you didn't really project and I almost thought you were trying too hard just to make the voice “possible”. It gave off a “young guy trying to sound like an older guy but failing” kind of feel since there were parts, especially around the beginning, where I was trying to figure out if you were trying to sound older or not—The “young tone” was still in there, so to speak. The read was natural and unique and I can tell you got into your character's groove for this, but I didn't feel as though you were fully there... Possibly because you worried about your voice rather than devoting all your brainpower to the performance. From the middle to the end, where you sounded less like you were trying too hard to keep the voice consistent, you sounded more into it. That said, this voice/texture sounds usable. Just work on it until it becomes second nature if you want to keep it and apply it elsewhere. You sorta have a character going and there's some traces of villain in there, but I'll have to pick up more on what your character is doing and what he wants before I call him a villain.
@ Shard-Spider Why the heck do you want a graph from me...? Do you really want me to drill you that badly...? If so, I bothered to dig up something you've been in that was released recently in the event my predetermined expectations were proven...
...And thank god those expectations were meant for someone else. Not you.
The beginning of your performance almost proved those expectations though. Personally, I think some parts of your read came off as awkward, particularly where you drew out key words by their vowels where they can already draw themselves out through your performance without your help (like “I'm a FAAAilure”, “I'm a VIILLain!”, “I teeEAR at things!”). But in my opinion, it's not a huge enough problem for me to go into detail about it, so no graph for you. It's kinda like GeneralIvan's read issues—He can act, he knows how to manipulate his voice, and he can take direction, so the read can be tweaked later should you be cast (and that's really how I cast). The quality of your voice is already pleasant on the ears and I really like how it's the pacing and rhythm of your performance that's drawing me in to the villainous aura. You started selling me around the whole “It's not the end of the world” part giving off the “Awww~ Poor baby~” tone as it led into the insidious “Let me... Necro a concept...” OMIGAWD ATLAS TRYING TO COVER HIS TRACKS FROM DIANE McCLINTOCK!!. Why? 'Cause it exuded control. And to me, the listener, that's scary. REALLY scary. And only effective villains a particular character from Bioshock comes to mind can do that. Sure, the odd parts of your read broke the hold you had, but the effective parts of your read saved the performance from being a disappointment.
...And good thing since my expectations of you were high. Ultimately, you can play villains and it always puts me in a good mood whenever someone I'd usually typecast for good guys can do that, but I can still hear some hero in there (ending line). You're definitely on the right track though, so you just need to play more villains in general to work it into second nature.
=P By the way, in the H.E.L.L. flash (and I want to double-check this but the flash is 10 minutes long and it doesn't have a scene select or whatever), your villainous laugh sounded like it could use some work.
This looks like a job for... some other superhero. But since I'm the only one here I guess I'll do!
Joined: Aug 2006 Gender: Male Posts: 2,309 Location: Dublin, Ireland
Re: "I'm a VILLAIN" Challenge - DEFUNCT! « Reply #186 on Jul 19, 2009, 10:59am »
no graph? ah well... haha
hmm something to think about, yeah it's true I usually play heroes more...oh and as for the laugh... I've never been good at evil laughs... I find them, for the most part, contrived... but I'm working on them
If protools were not being awful to me... I would do a redo... but protools is being awful to me... I have to overhaul my system... BAD!
« Last Edit: Jul 19, 2009, 11:18am by Shard-Spider »
@Hnil: NO YOU SHOULDN'T. As your conscience I implore you to sleep earlier than said time starting in the near future, alrighty?
Hmmmn, thanks to this and a show I love to watch, I think I have a different piece that I'll try out to practice a villainy voice to. It's a dialogue though, but at least I get to practice both a villain and a victim.
My only conundrum is whether I'd post it here or that practice reel thread of mine. So decision wracking. >.<
Joined: Feb 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 4,537 Location: Southern CA, USA
Re: "I'm a VILLAIN" Challenge - DEFUNCT! « Reply #189 on Jul 19, 2009, 5:24pm »
@ LordoftheMorning Yeah, you know how to sound natural during your read and you know how to keep your character consistent, but you have to remember that villains aren't just angry people. There's a method to their madness, a reason to their rage, and if it weren't for the fact that I could hear traces of performing in this, it almost went into YouTube Vlog rant territory. I want to blame your average guy voice, but an average guy voice can be usable if you know how to, so it's not that. I'm not entirely sure what your character wants because I don't feel it and based off of my impressions of you auditioning primarily for machinima, you're not creating a character. It's like you want this voice to be put into one and to me, that's just not how things work if you want your character to be believable. Sure, there's inside-out and outside-in acting, but that only works when you know how to make a character work instead of having the “channel or conduit” do all the work. Just do more creating is all. Get more familiar with the character himself, as in branch out beyond what the character description says.
@ LordoftheMorning Yeah, you know how to sound natural during your read and you know how to keep your character consistent, but you have to remember that villains aren't just angry people. There's a method to their madness, a reason to their rage, and if it weren't for the fact that I could hear traces of performing in this, it almost went into YouTube Vlog rant territory. I want to blame your average guy voice, but an average guy voice can be usable if you know how to, so it's not that. I'm not entirely sure what your character wants because I don't feel it and based off of my impressions of you auditioning primarily for machinima, you're not creating a character. It's like you want this voice to be put into one and to me, that's just not how things work if you want your character to be believable. Sure, there's inside-out and outside-in acting, but that only works when you know how to make a character work instead of having the “channel or conduit” do all the work. Just do more creating is all. Get more familiar with the character himself, as in branch out beyond what the character description says.
Thank you very much for the critique, Hnilmik. I'm slightly confused though.
What I should take away from this is that my monologue was too thoughtless? That I need to consider my character as if he were a real person? What exactly should I work on? Just creating?
Yes. Make your characters real by believing that they're real. They should always be, shouldn't they?
I'm under the impression that you audition primarily for machinima based on where you usually post in the auditions section.
Okay, I read something wrong. I thought you meant that you had heard some of my auditions for machinima's, which of course, wouldn't make any sense, but you were actually talking about the implications of me auditioning primarily for machinimas.
Sorry if I'm asking dumb questions, I'm just trying to make sure I'm on the same page.
Joined: Feb 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 4,537 Location: Southern CA, USA
Re: "I'm a VILLAIN" Challenge - DEFUNCT! « Reply #194 on Jul 19, 2009, 10:08pm »
@ LordoftheMorning No worries~ Asking questions for clarity is okay in my books. Asking for my critique or opinion and taking it personally isn't okay in my books. Fortunately, I don't think anyone has done that in this thread yet and I'm actually pretty proud at how proactive people are in getting feedback instead of “waiting for praise”.
@ Darkwolf Usable voice and natural read. However, I had trouble hearing you in the first recording. It's one thing to not be loud when it's not necessary, but to pull off the intensity you're going for (not an easy feat), it wouldn't hurt to have a bit more power backing up what you already got. Opening your mouth more and upping projection might do it, but I don't think that's the only thing. It's hard for me to describe since you can construct a character and with the right traits too... I think it might come down to one of the most frustrating things I'm going to tell you: You're solid. You're on the right track, you know what you're doing, and you're even good enough to be reliably cast, but you don't stand out from the rest of the competition. You lack... “The sparkle factor”—Something that'll make your character distinct and interesting. I have a so-so feel on this character being a villain, but I wasn't sold. I wasn't sure if what you're hitting is an acting wall, so I gave your second recording a listen.
I like your second recording much more, especially from the middle to the end since you sounded more into it and it sold me (nice touch with your character regaining composure for “poise”). I almost wrote you for hitting the acting wall around the beginning since the speech pattern was a smidge redundant (and a few parts of the read even sounded a smidge awkward) until it built up into more variety. THIS recording had more “sparkle” in being distinct and believable, so it might be a warming up of the acting muscles issue rather than hitting an acting wall. Just know that this voice is within GeneralIvan's specialty range and he's getting better about warming up his acting muscles. I recommend “competing” against him in auditions so both of you start improving since you two seem to be roughly around the same ability range on average.
Both of you are talented and I see the improvements getting better and better down the road~
@ COMICAL!! Speaking of GeneralIvan...
I usually typecast you for goofy roles and I thought this recording would be something I'd typically expect from you until I heard how believable you were. Congratulations, you sold me with the effective use of pacing and little characters quirks and this is the best I've ever heard from you. There were one or two awkward reads, but those can be fixed after getting cast. You're on the right track and this performance is almost in the same league as Ivan's most recent recording (since it even sounds a little similar to his, but you two used different techniques to make your performances your own). I'm kinda distracted at the moment to conjure my interpretation of your character, so don't take it the wrong way if I'm not expressing my imagination at work.
It's official. Darkwolf, COMICAL!!, and GeneralIvan around the same competitive range and I'm tempted to start a thread about that since the best way to get better is to keep playing with the best and improving.
And that's all the critiquing I'll be doing for this thread since critiquing 65 entries the best I can in the span of around 2 weeks is a bit much for me. I'll be concentrating on my other obligations now.
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